dead grotty. (cadaver11) wrote,
dead grotty.

it takes you up and lets you down.

Well, I haven't done this in awhile. Yeah, about that; I haven't been in the mood. I'm sometimes apathetic; try not to be but it is what is. You can either take it or leave it.
So for the last few months I've been reflecting a bit and life has been like a roller coaster and a seesaw but I'm still hanging in there. Not where I need to be but I ain't gonna lose hope. It's harder than I thought but sometimes I'm comfortable being in this destitute state. No, I don't want to be here for the rest of my life. I have so much to offer the world and I want to make God proud and I also feel like I'm not making Him proud by doing nothing to better myself.
Thankfully I have someone to help me, well, that's what this person says they'll do when they get themselves together. I'd very much appreciate it because all I need is a push; a very firm push at that. Maybe I would like to be guided before the push but still I'll need to be pushed just like the mother eagle does to her baby -- I can either live or just die.
I rather live though.
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